Hex the ex: Reflecting back negativity and breaking control at Spiral Nature

Do you have a burning need for revenge? Want to out some nasty ‘piece of work’ liar? Need to neutralize sources of negativity, trauma, oppression or abuse? Perhaps it’s time for some divine retribution.

Six years free from a malignant narcissist, I’ve found magical ways to ‘hex’ my ex, and aid my healing. No, it’s not ‘black magick’ or the ‘dark arts’. I believe in the Law of Three and don’t want it to bring anything bad back to me. But I’ve learned to give dirt back to dirtbags, and send negativity back to its source, and I want to share some of my favourite methods with you today.

If you face domestic abuse or violence, don’t rely on magick alone. Contact the police, a hotline, a crisis centre, or understanding friends and family. You deserve protection and support.

Hex, curse, vex or worse?

The word ‘hex’ comes from the German Hexen meaning ‘witch’, and the Pennsylvanian German Hexe meaning ‘to practice witchcraft‘. A hex is an evil spell wishing bad luck and bad things on someone or something.

Curse comes from the old English curs or cors meaning ‘the evil which has been invoked upon one, that which causes severe trouble’, and vex comes from the Old French vexer, meaning ‘harass’, and the Latin vexare meaning ‘to shake, jolt, or toss violently’.

Hexes differ greatly from binding or banishing spells. A binding spell literally binds a person or an object to another person or object. It can be done in a positive or negative manner such as a hand-fast binding two loving beings together, or binding a lover to your neighbourhood so they don’t go wandering anywhere near where their ex-partner lives. Commonly a binding spell is used to tie someone to something, someone or somewhere, or to prevent them from harming themselves or another. A banishing spell focuses instead, on sending something away. It can be used to banish people, unwanted things or negative energy.

I’m not a big fan of binding or banishing spells because they interfere with the free will of others, and in my magical practice there is no room for control or manipulation. But there is room for self-defence and empowerment.

Harm none

Both the Wiccan Rede and the Laws of Nature guide my magical practice. Magick is a helping and healing tool.

The Wiccan Rede guides me to ‘harm none’, and that includes making sure no harm comes to me. By learning to remove myself from the receptive role of absorbing negativity, I have actively become the ‘vex’ that shakes my abusive ex up, bouncing his crap right back.

Simple physics, and the laws of nature, show that a negative charge repels negativity. So instead of always being ‘nice’ and ‘positive’, and absorbing negativity, I have learned to send negative and abusive energy back to its’ source – negative and abusive people.

I choose to not fawn in the face of aggression, not smile to put abusers at ease, and not stay silent in the presence of injustice. My magick is learning to speak truth to power and hold my own protective centre.

Hexing the ex

I use hexes, curses, vexes and worse to counteract negativity when I’ve been crossed, hexed or abused. What goes around comes around, as the saying goes, so when negativity is used against me, I call on the power of hexes to help right the situation. I do not invite negativity in, or allow it to corrupt me, but use the laws of nature and physics to repel it.

I hold no negative intent, but have learned to deflect the negative intent of abusive or negative people. It is their own energy that I turn around, and send back, hoping it bites them. I let it be known that I am a ‘hexen’, a witch, that I use hexing’ or witchcraft, regularly. And I am not afraid to ‘shake it up’.

Below are my three most reliable hexes.

Speaking Truth to Power is a modern practice based on the old technique ‘using words of power’. An ancient Earth Magick practice, it can repel negativity, abuse or magical attack. It effectively bounces energy back to the sender. By repeating words which empower and uplift, we raise our own magical energy for protection and defence, driving away negativity. We each have personal words of power, and each situation calls for different power words. My most powerful words are simple:

I’m happy, I’m safe, I’m healthy, I’m peaceful, I’m well in every cell, I’m loved.
I’m divinely protected and perfectly safe.”

Inhale as you say “I’m”, exhale as you name each magical quality. Use the practice to slow the breath and heart rate. Become conscious of generating energy. Draw it up from the root chakra, through the body and shower it out the crown chakra, feeling it cascading down around you. Repeat this breathing pattern and visualization to effectively create a protective energetic veil.

When you feel safe and secure, ‘hex’ from behind the veil:

My good energy surrounds me,
your negativity surrounds thee,
energy returns to where it began,
may you be hexed by your own hand.”

Envision the person who tried to psychically or emotionally attack you. See their energy repelled by your shimmering veil, and bouncing back to them. See them shrink and wither as they receive the curse of their own words, deeds, actions, or energies.

Burn Baby Burn is a version of candle work to repel negativity. You need a black candle, a picture of your ex, a sharp tool to carve the candle (your Athame if you have one), and matches.

Carve the name of your target on the candle, and place it in a fire safe candle holder. Wrap the picture around the candle, secured with black thread. Light the candle and say:

I invoke the fire of purification, to work with me tonight,
Burn away negativity and set the balance right.”

Let it burn completely, knowing that as fire consumes your ex’s name and image, it consumes their power over you. Feel the shackles of the trauma-bond being dissolved. Be free.

After burning away negativity, carry a small piece of rose quartz tucked in your shirt or bra, and let go of residual fear, anger or pain as it arises. The rose quartz lovingly absorbs it and releases it to the Mother Goddess. It’s in her hands now. Let go.

A Direct Hex is just that. Use pen and paper. Write to the person who wronged you. Write in detail what they have done. As you write, feel the hatred, anger, fear, or sadness leave you and soak into the paper. It literally drains onto the page and you are relieved from its internalization.

R.J.D. you mistreated me, you continually lied and cheated me,
you tried to control and disempower me, you poisoned my community.

Reflect their energy back on them:

Until you do right in the world, and repent for your evil and wrongdoing, everything that you touch will fail. I hex you and call all natural laws down on you. I call for the righting of wrongs, the positivity that defeats negativity, and the return of all evil to its rightful home.

Sum it up :

The power lies in your hands,
the power is yours to command,
continue with your evil ways,
and putrid loss is yours for all days.

Use initials so you don’t have to say the name:

R.J.D., you’re hexed and vexed
R.J.D., you’re cursed and worse,
take harmful action against me,
and attract all negativity.
So be it.”


Repeat after me: I am a hexen (witch) and I use hexe (the practice of witchcraft) to reverse the curs (the evil which has been invoked upon one, that which causes severe trouble) that my ex placed upon me. My ex was a vexer who ‘harassed’ me, so I have learned to vexare, ‘to shake, jolt, or toss violently’, in order to ‘shake’ off the energy.

While all of this may seem to be just a clever use of words, I have learned to use hexes and vexes to diminish the effects of my ex, and I have claimed the power of my words. May these spells inspire you to find your own words, your own ways, and your own powers to turn things around so you can deflect negativity, protect your positivity, and effectively hex your ex.

Image credit: Ahd Photography