Coven Pecking Order

By Anonymous | December 17, 2000

Ever wonder what all those degrees and titles are for? Here’s your answer!

Neophyte:

Runs into small buildings, recognizes a locomotive two out of three times, frequently wets self with a water pistol, can do the doggy paddle and mostly mumbles to animals.

First Degree Initiate:

Clears a small hut, loses the race with a locomotive, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.

Second Degree Initiate:

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds, is faster than a BB, more powerful than a railroad hand-car, walks on water in a swimming pool and talks to God…if a special request is approved.

Third Degree Initiate:

Leaps short buildings in a single bound, more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water…if the sea is calm and talks to God.

High Priest:

Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water and dictates policy to God.

High Priestess:

Lifts tall buildings to walk under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in her teeth and freezes water with a single glance. SHE IS GOD.


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