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General Humour
Best thing about Pagan friends?
They worship the ground you walk on.
The Goddess is alive and she ate my homework.
God, Please save me from your followers.
I have the body of a God: Buddha.
Jesus saves! By using double coupons & shopping wisely.
Please don't squeeze the shaman!
When God created men She must have been drunk and horny!
Witches do it in the moonlight.
Practice safe hex.
Ankh if you love Isis!!
Please hold. All muses are busy right now, but your inspiration is important to us...
Get a taste for religion, lick a Witch!
Carpe Nocturnum: 'We get more done after 2 a.m. then most people do all day.'
WASP...We Are Sexy Pagans
"Confuscious say man who sits alone in church, sits in his own pew."
"Confuscious say man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
That was Zen; this is Tao.
Hail to the Sun god!
He's a real fun god!
Ra, Ra, Ra!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
A squirrel is just a rat with good P.R.
I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.
I do whatever my rice crispies tell me to.
Jesus is coming. Look Busy!
A skeptic goes in to see a fortune teller. "You are the father of 2 children," the fortune teller says. "That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!," says the man. "That's what you think," says the fortune teller.
If a Witch practices on the beach, is she a sandwitch?
What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid?
Someone who worships the tree that is not there.
What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid mathematician?
Someone who worships the square roots of the tree that is not there.
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic Devil-worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
A high priest tells his coven member, "Hey, I heard a new fundie joke today." The member replies, "You're always slamming fundies. Why don't you tell us a Martian joke instead?" "OK, Two Martians are carrying their Bibles to church. The first Martian says, 'At the revival last week, I led 15 new souls to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior' and the other Martian says--" "Never mind," says the member.
Did you hear, Easter is canceled this year...yeah, they found the body.
A child's version of Easter: Easter is when they crucified Jesus, and put him in a cave. Three days later he rose again on Easter Sunday. When he came out of the cave, he got scared by his shadow, went back in, and they had 3 more months of winter!
What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid veterinarian?
Someone who worships the bark of the tree that is not there.
Jesus saves...but Gretsky catches the rebound! He shoots! HE SCOOORES!
Why did the Zen Buddhist get reincarnated as a Pizza Supreme?
He wanted to be one with everything.
What's Wiccan, flies around, and makes honey?
The Blessed Bee!
What do you say to an angry Witch?
Ribbit.
What happens when a Ceremonial Magician gets angry?
He goes Qua-ballistic.
The Mighty God Thor was riding across the skies on his fiery steed Pegasus. He raised his hammer and bellowed, "I'M THOR! I'M THOR!" Pegasus looked up at him and muttered, "You thoulda wore your thaddle, thilly."
Why did the blond Pagan have a lasso?
She wanted to draw down the moon.
What do you' call 13 Witches in a hot tub?
A self-cleaning coven.
What is a male honeybee's favorite magickal item?
The caul-drone.
What kind of furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer?
Wicker.
What's the difference between New Age and Pagan?
About $500.00 a weekend.
What is a witch's favorite snack?
Pan pizza.
What's a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
"Sorry I wasn't in church last Sunday, but I was practicing Witchcraft and becoming a lesbian."
What do you call a dating club for unattached Wiccans?
Craft singles!
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