The ABCs of Neo-Pagandom

By: Geoff Johnson

Just to confuse you all:

Altar

To change, deform, or rearrange.

Black Magic

Magic used by those with much pigmentation in their skin.

Centering

In the case of public rituals, this practice in done to alter the alignment of text on flyers.

Circle

A term used by techno-Pagans when refering to circle-dot mode, the storage of binary units using a code of plane figures with a bounding edge equidistant from a fixed point where some of these figures have dots, and some do not.

The Craft

A movie made in 1996 by Sony Pictures which stars Robin Tunney.

Cove

A small sheltered bay, creek, or inlet of the sea.

Coven

Referring to or being cove-like.

Discord

The appropriate musical notes to be played at dis time in the ritual.

Esbat

Spanish for "it is a flying mammal."

Flying

Something which witches do. Recent surveys show that TWA is the most favored method, though some traditionalists stick with smaller single-engined airplanes.

Glossary

A place where they add gloss to ceramics.

Grounding

When all young children who have misbehaved during the ritual are sent to their rooms for the weekend.

Hain

Sam Hain, founder of a successful company which makes underwear.

Handfasting

During protests, this is done to ensure the difficulty of ones removal by use of handcuffs.

Incense

When capable of reasonable judgement, when acting sensible.

Jack-o-lantern

In the Pagan playing cards, it is the card of the suit of lights (traje de luces) higher than a ten but lower than a queen.

Karma

An old Star Trek term from the original series which stands for Klingon and Romulan Military Alliance.

Lammas

Animals of south America of the family Camelidae.

Magick

An art made popular by David Copperfield and Harry Houdini.

Nine

The most Pagans you can fit in a standard phone booth in Iowa City. (Trust me on this one)

Orgy

The ending often used by technopagans at the end of their URL.

Pentagram

A five sided cracker.

Quest

What deities send you on when they are bored and have nothing better to do.

Rowan

A term used on slave ships when the slaves have rested long enough and need to continue rowing.

Sabbat

Of or relating to hydrogenated organic compounds. The term comes from the French chemist Paul Sabatier.

Skyclad

A material similar to nickel-clad, though with ozone instead of nickel.

Spell

A turn at work, a shift.

Talisman

Opposite of Shortisman.

Underwear

See Hain.

Virginity

Sorry, no Pagan I've talked to seems to know what this is.

White Witch

A Caucasian member of the Wiccan religion.

Witch

Pronoun, what one or ones of several things pointed out. Used as a relative in a subordinate clause representing a noun or noun phrase in the principal sentence.

Xerox

The easiest and quickest way to go from a monotheistic religion to a polytheistic one. Though it may cost you ten cents.

Yorkshire

A place where they make a type of bread, perfect for rituals, though they call it pudding.

Zygurmist

The one who devotes his or her life to studying, in order to make rituals more fun.

[Note: Permission was given to me to use this when the site was still located on Drak.net under the name Silver Skies. Severl attempts to contact the author since have been unsuccessful. It is assumed that it is still alright for me to put this up. If not, Geoff, please contact me. --Psyche]