Sex Magick

In all its forms.

Polarity in Sex Magic

By Taylor Ellwood and Lupa | July 2, 2006 | Leave a comment

One issue that occurs with both Western and Eastern sex magic is the polarization of the sexes. This kind of thinking about the sexes can be found in nineteenth century occultism (and even further back), “One calls the forces positive and negative, and one rediscovers them in good and bad, emission and reception, life and death, idea and action, man and woman (positive and negative magnetic poles) in the material plane and, conversely the woman (active pole) and man (negative pole) in the mental plane (Randolph 1988, p. 10). The division into polarity is often used as a way of explaining the unity found in sex magic. In other words, it is the union of opposites. Intriguingly enough love is often cited as a necessary ingredient of sex magic, in order to make it particularly effective. We are inclined to agree that love, in sex magic, can be very important as an energizer. Whether the polarity is necessary is another case, as the union of opposites is by it’s nature a negation of polarity and the need for it. We feel polarity is an unnecessary approach to sex in general, that has caused far more harm and misunderstanding precisely because it is cultural, as opposed to biological.

Yet, incorporation of polarity occurs all too often even in modern texts. In Shaping Formless Fire, Stephen Mace states that “The difference between men and women—in both anatomy and quality of energy—is conspicuous. Men eject the quickening jolt, the surge of power, that animates the enterprise. Women provide the form that can thus be stirred to life” (Mace 2005, p. 72). Unfortunately for Mace, this statement reveals his ignorance of female anatomy. The majority of men are ignorant of the fact that women can actually ejaculate fluid as well, and as such, by his criteria, are capable of that same quickening jolt.

Beyond that, it’s not unknown for a woman to be the active magical worker. A female magician may also use her vagina to draw in a male magician’s energy and work the necessary magic with it, rather than simply being a vessel for the magic he works. In this way, the man could simply be a generator of energy, while the woman is the one who shapes it and creates the magic. In one case, a woman has actively vamped sexual energy from men, without them knowing it, and then directed that energy toward her own purposes (WitchWitch 2006). While we don’t condone her ethical values (as we think using a person’s energy without hir permission is harmful to the person) it does illustrate that a woman can be the active principle.

Polarity automatically buys into an attitude common in both Western and Eastern sex magic texts, the idea that having a vagina makes a person automatically passive/receptive, whereas the penis endows one with active/projective energy. The stereotypical polarity not only thrusts people into limiting roles, but it also oftentimes relegates the biological woman to being a convenience rather than a participant in magic, a mere cauldron in which the male magician stirs the elixir of life. But in sex magic, polarity is not a biological fact, “Our physical gender does not determine the type or amount of energy we have access to, and does not determine the roles we must play in sex magic workings” (Williams 1990, p. 108). It’s important to remember that we are not defined by our sex when it comes to magic. Instead if sex is something which must be defined, let it be defined in a way that is helpful as opposed to harmful.

Western sex magic generally involves heterosexual intercourse, with the focus being primarily on coitus. It is assumed that the climax of the magic will occur when the man ejaculates, regardless of whether the woman has an orgasm or not (And we don’t care how good your magic is—there’s no way to guarantee simultaneous orgasm!). The magic is not considered complete until there’s sperm floating around in the mix. In addition, on an energetic level, the focus is on the energy raised when the man orgasms, while the woman is the container for this energy. In short, the woman serves no purpose that could not also be filled by another man, a blowup doll, or the male magician’s own hand.

Part of the problem is misunderstanding or downplay of the female orgasm. In Lupa’s experience, at least, a clitoral orgasm is much stronger than a vaginal orgasm. This is a common trait among biological females, though not universal. The difficulty for many women to have a clitoral orgasm during coitus can be seen as a distraction not worth bothering with until the real ritual is over—if even then. We wonder how many women have never had a chance to discover the clitoral orgasm exists simply because they end up with partners who can’t give decent face or hand (or who are too focused on their own pleasure to try).

The vaginal/uterine emphasis bolsters an unhealthy attitude—the idea that the highest function of a woman is to give birth, whether figuratively or literally. This strengthens the idea that effective sex magic can only come about through coitus, and that anything else is less effective because only coitus involves reproduction. While symbolic reproduction can be useful in creating effective magic, it is not the do-all and end-all of sex magic. Otherwise why would so many magicians of all sexes use masturbation to cast sigils? Yet from Cerridwen’s Cauldron to the Holy Grail to the ceremonial Cup, women are limited in symbolism only to their uteruses. The clitoris is left out in the cold.

This emphasis also puts lots of pressure on men. The need to perform, to be hard in an instant, and ready to have sex (whether you want to or not) is something that men experience, but which is also frequently unnoted, because of the supposed male privilege. And yet even as not all men are ripped and buff (an image which is portrayed as the ideal man), nor do all men have a high sex drive, or for that matter an overwhelming need to have sex all the time. Nor is sex the only thing that is on a man’s mind. And yet inevitably men will be accused of “thinking with their dicks,” or be portrayed as sex crazy idiots. This stereotype is very harmful to men, putting pressure on them to conform to these images and yet also shaming them for having a perfectly natural desire for sex.

The secret to breaking this dichotomy starts at the very source of our genitalia. Every human fetus starts out as female. It is only after three months that some fetuses change over to being male. This means that everyone’s genitals start out from the same basic little buds of developing flesh. The penis and the clitoris are analogous to each other anatomically speaking, as are the testes and ovaries (

There is no biological truth to polarity, because polarity is a cultural concept, with meanings associated with it that are used to define it. It’s true that the bio-males and bio-females have different physiological functions. The man can produce sperm and the woman can produce an ovum, but these functions still are focused on the same end goal and are rather similar in terms of what occurs, i.e. the sperm is produced by the man’s body as part of the procreation function, just as the ovum is produced by the woman’s body for procreation. The difference is that a woman can actually carry a baby to term in her body, and a man cannot…but the woman still needs a man in order to produce the baby. Even with that difference noted there is no definitive polarity about it. The reason is because that difference is related to a biological function as opposed to something more meaningful.

Also if we associate polarity with biology we leave out (in just the human race) the intersex people, the androgynous, the gay and lesbian community, the transgendered community, and the people who don’t have the full biological capacity to produce sperm or ovum…needless to say polarity becomes a confining system that tries to ignore the inconvenient truth that biology is capable of more diversity than just the dualistic male and female ends of the spectrum. Other species can also be pointed to as an example of the fact that polarity is not a biological constant. That people associate it with biology is a result of cultural beliefs about biology. It’s also a rather limited human-centric perspective on biology, one which tends to focus only on the human experience as opposed to trying to understand the variety of biological diversity that exists.

Polarity is a cultural concept precisely because it is an attempt to define biology outside of its functions and in ignorance of what those functions are. So we define certain “values” with polarity. Men are the active principle and women are the passive principle in sex for instance…but is that a biological reality? It is not. It is a cultural definition and a shoddy one at that. It focuses on assigning attributes to biological roles without providing any biological basis for these attributes. Unfortunately this assignation of roles is cultural and has ultimately been harmful to women precisely because it has tried to minimize them and control their capacity to enjoy sex. It harms men because it’s helped to create a stereotype where men are sex hungry creatures that only think about having sex. It’s also harmed any person who’s gender falls outside the traditional heterosexual sex roles. We’ve noted with some dismay that the majority of books on sex magic don’t, for instance, offer much to the gay and lesbian community on sex magic for them.

Now some people might point to energy work as part of biology and say that is where this concept of polarity and men being active and women being passive comes from. And yet while energy is an intrinsic part of the human organism and part of the biology of a person (see Lipton 2005), any associations/meanings made about it are cultural. We need to examine those cultural assumptions and ask why they have been emphasized and who it benefits to emphasize those assumptions about sex, energy work, and polarity.

In our own work with energy, we’ve yet to find it true that women are passive and men active. We think it’s a case of associating the biological functions of the body with energy work. But can we prove that the biological functions make a man active and a women passive? Just because a penis thrusts into a vagina does not make it active. If anything we’ve found that such “polarities” are switchable in sex magic and that women can be the active principle while men are passive. Indeed, at least in Taylor’s case, he prefers for the woman to be the active principle, directing the energy and focusing it as she sees fit. That preference is both a personal turn-on, and a recognition that a woman is just as able to do magic the way he does it (regardless of the difference in biology). In other words, there is no difference (beyond the biological level) unless people make a distinction of difference. Any difference on the biological level is a difference of function, but not a difference of polarity.

It would ultimately be better to do away with polarity and the duality it inspires. Sex can be active for both participants or passive, but as long as it’s good sex does it really matter who is active or passive? By overthrowing the reliance on polarity we undo the cultural harm it can cause to people of any gender. That harm is manifold as is witnessed by the murder of transgendered people, people who refuse to fit into the sex role of their genitals, and instead choose their own gender. They are murdered for simply making that choice and this is because the cultural memeage of polarity only allows two genders, as opposed to any others. As magicians, we owe it to ourselves and to other people to not use this kind of cultural meme in our magical workings as we only reinforce the kind of hatred that can destroy so many people. And of course limiting yourself to polarity leaves out a lot of potential fun to be had with other people!

With that recognition about the cultural values that have infiltrated our notions of sex and sex magic, we can free ourselves of them and recognize that polarity is entirely a cultural meme, infecting us with values that are oppressive, restricted, and ultimately useless to the process of sex magic. Indeed we can then accept as well that whether it’s hetero, homo, or pan sexuality being explored what meanings we make of what occurs is entirely our own responsibility and a way of making the sex act more meaningful and intimate…more a celebration and less a reinforcement of stale cultural norms.

Works cited

  • Lipton, Bruce. (2005). The biology of belief: Unleashing the power of consciousness, matter, & miracles. Santa Rosa: Mountain of Love/Elite books.
  • Mace, Stephen. (2005). Shaping formless fire: The quintessence of magick. (Tempe: New Falcon Press.
  • Randolph, Pascal Beverly. (1988). Sexual magic. Trans. Robert North. New York: Magic Childe Publishing, Inc.
  • Williams, Brandy. (1990). Ecstatic ritual: Practical sex magic. London: Prism Press.
  • WitchWitch. (2006). Witch does vampire sex magick. P. 6. Widdershins, 12.1.

Website citations


Taylor Ellwood and Lupa
The Green Wolf

The above is an excerpt from their forthcoming book on kink magick. Copyright 2006, used with permission.

Sexual Sorcery & Dream Manipulation

By Magister Shane Gilliam, Church ov Apeiron, High Priest | April 30, 2005 | Leave a comment

When one thinks of visitations via manipulation of dreams automatically one thinks of the Succubus & Incubus taking control of those helpless creatures in the darkness of dreams. They were noted to install sexual fever upon all they visited, and always left behind their mark. (With soiled under garments as end result.)

Now you too can take control of one’s prey by the same means of projecting your shadow side upon the victim of one’s choose. Sexual sorcery can be one of the strongest forms of magick practiced to this day. The sheer power of the orgasm is a force beyond many. There can be many results achieved by this practice, all one must learn is a few certain principles, and the raw desire of an animalistic nature. There are many results one can expect, you cannot only create a desire of lust upon the one you seek; but you can also destroy your enemy by forcible focus of hatred upon your victim when they least suspect it. The ideas are endless and many!!!!

The principles

Sexual Sorcery is a double edged sword as one can see, from lust, to bindings, to creations of a nightmarish effect upon the chosen.

So here are the ingredients laid forth to work this kind of magic or at least get a general idea.

#1 Visualization and focus of the will

One must remain focused of their desire of intent, (easier said then done) the pleasure principle must be erased far from the mind. Sex magick is very different then the masturbatory fantasies or sexual copulation between partner’s .First either the couple or the individual must have a desired result in mind, through the stilling of the mind and a strong sense of control from this often time’s chaotic force. The first key ingredient is to keep a visualization of the result/end result within the mind at all times, like a crystal ball you see in your mind the exact result one is wishing to achieve.

#2 Prolongation of Orgasm

The idea on this is not just a wham bam thank you maam, instant sexual gratification seeked by many, MUST BE AVOIDED!! The goal then is to stay fully aroused and to avoid quick orgasm.

There are many tricks to the trade, when you become close to reaching your climax, remain centered on the directed desire .Both you and you partner must keep your goal intact the whole time. Use of deep breathing, learning yoga, and Tantra also will be of some assistance to learn. Deep breathing can make the blood in your body flow though out the body, it can prolong the orgasm to some extent if done correctly. The point of this practice is to come as close to orgasm as many times as one can, and then when you cannot hold back any longer, tremble and release forth the strongest orgasm one can muster out.

Main point is to remain focused on desire of intent and picture it most vividly at point of release, or one can employ the use of a Sigil that represents your desire. Another point is to keep your intent of desire realistic as possible. It is much easier to see results if you keep it realistic to a point. Know what you can pull off and what you can’t will save you much heart ache .Some call this the balance factor, learning this part of balance is very important.

If for example your enemy has weak points reveled or unrevealed learn anything you can on your subject as much as you can.

If you know there fears send them forth in the dead of night as a powerful nightmare that will dwell in your victim’s subconscious mind, and will destroy their mind and body in emotional/violent manner. Like a daemon tearing through the flesh, you are just setting them up for their fall sort of say. Other ideas can be creating energy upon a certain archetype, and send them off as a servitor.

#3 Timing

The last ingredient is timing, it will help to learn your victims sleep pattern. And also if one’s victim is a women and the motivation of desire is sexual in nature remember to note the times of the women’s cycle as well. The best time to perform such acts is when they are passive, and no matter how strong willed one is they are always passive in their sleep. Hit them about two hours before they awake. They will be in a dream like state of rem, where their brain is mush, and will be easiest to stir their mind of your dark desires.

Hail to the dark dreams that can become reality.

Sacred Sex

By Virginia Fleming | October 6, 2002 | Leave a comment

From: vmf[at]acpub[dot]duke[dot]edu (Virginia Fleming)
Newsgroups: alt.polyamory,alt.magick,alt.pagan
Subject: Re: Sacred Sex
Date: 19 Mar 1994 01:38:04 GMT

Jim Baranski wrote:

<< The closest thing that I’ve come to “sacred sex” has been…

A: spending long hours lavishing sensual attention on my honey… Yum…

B:A VFOE that happened with my first true “lover” (notice I didn’t say “love”). One morning I was lying in bed *thinking* about her, and ‘humming’ to myself, when-suddenly-it was like she was *really* there, in my mind, in my imagination, making love with me. When I dream, I usually have some control over my dreams, and I know I’m dreaming. In this ‘dream’ it was no longer my dream, and I was no longer in control of it. It was like we were mentally making love, without our bodies getting in the way. Like, Far Out! Too Weird! At the time, she was in another state, and she reported a similar experience.

C:A recollection during a Polarity of when I was a small boy, coming in after playing outside, and lying down next to my dog in the sun, on the linoleum kitchen floor in the warm sun, listening to my mother ironing, and smelling the sun on the dog, and the iron steam… >>

It seems to me that what might link these experiences is a certain ineffable way that sensuality and spirituality have come together. One of the ways I work with my class is to encourage a deep sense of spirituality in things we normally don’t consciously imbue with that quality. So we work with altars–creating a sacred space, decorating it and making it beautiful, and then placing things on those altars that have power in our everyday lives, but that we don’t often make sacred. I recommended my class do an altar for their own physical bodies and they got really creative. Many liked having a sacred place to put vitamins and medicines and lotions and perfumes, and sex toys and birth control stuff. One did a great thing with dressing up a full length mirror with scarves and a hat…

<< For me, ‘sacred sex’ would be doing would make my partner feel really and truly, totally loved, that nothing else in the universe mattered, and that nothing would every change that… What techniques can be used to accomplish this, I have only a few clues… >>

The tried and true method I know of to do this is to treat the beloved as if they were a human embodiment of the divine. How would you treat a lover who was actually the god or goddess? How would you prepare the room, and yourself? What gifts or offerings could you offer this creature who has unimaginable power? Another way to bring this home to yourself would be to imagine that this is the one time you can afford in this lifetime to come to the temple and make your visit to the Goddess–what would you do for/during this life changing experience?


Promoting Positive Christian Intimacy & Sexuality: Tantra: The Old Lost Art Of Fulfilling Sexuality

By Anonymous | July 16, 2002 | Leave a comment

To: alt.magick.tyagi,
Subject: Re: The Tantra
Date: 28 Apr 1995 20:18:42 GMT

Our Sexually Immature Culture

Our society is full of tease, titillation and men taught to look at women as sex objects. We have no meaningful intimacy education and never will until we drop the false sexual repressiveness of religion used for controlling people and reorient ourselves towards loving sexual fulfilment.

We are not born naturally good at sex and we have little or no training in sexuality other than by hit and miss experimentation. We are largely conditioned by a belief system that often instills guilt, fear, insecurity or shame in our sexuality. We need to take back sexuality and integrate it with our spirits in a way that results in much more love, intimacy and fulfilment than what our culture has taught us. That is the basic teaching of Tantra.

Many couples have terrible sexual relations, since they have never been taught fulfilling sexuality, which doesn’t just come naturally hiding by yourselves in a dark bedroom. Men especially often have no idea how to give maximum pleasure to a women. Real responsible sex education is needed, not Christian repression based on mistranslated or misinterpreted scripture.

New Age Ideas Becoming Popular Again

Many warm, open people are attracted to New Age and Eastern beliefs. Many flee from the anti-sex, anti-body teaching of many Christians but falsely think they have to give up Christianity to be sexually open and fulfilled.

Tantra Teaching Needed

Not Christian Repression Tantra is an example of powerful integration of spirit and body in a positive, uplifting, healing way. Christianity has left it to the pagans to discover the possibilities in these areas while Christians in their blind prudishness and sexual puritanism wander around missing a kind of growth and fulfilment whose potential for spiritual good is incalculable.

Millions of couples have learned through Tantra to more fully share spiritually, have more awareness of themselves and their love for each other as a permanent part of their relationship. For couples who want to enrich their relationship, it can bring harmony between them and increase their sexual pleasure and intimacy. In sum, Tantric sex can create an extraordinary partnership between a couple.

Christian Tantra

By excluding the Hindu ideas, Tantra can help integrate positive sexuality with Christianity. Tantra teaches positive sexuality and ways of emotional, spiritual and physical communication which is far more meaningful than Christian repression. I uphold the Tantra teachings that can be so easily adopted into a Christian view. Christian Tantra differs from ancient Tantra only in its spiritual definitions, but most of the techniques are the same. Tantra deals with the unity of cosmic consciousness with the psychic energy centers of the body called Chakras, with the goal of self-actualization, personal integration with the universe, with breathing and yoga type meditation to make oneself in harmony with the universe. Christian Tantra communicates God s love for each other and desire to empower each other with love of God, each other and the world through a spiritual communication of the Holy Spirit within us. The specific communication and physical techniques are powerful for both Hindus and Christians.

Sample Of Tantra Techniques

Tantra techniques are specific high touch positions that in modern day science are known to provide positive medical results within the body. Also included are many sexual positions that are much more physically stimulating, especially for women, and convey more love, acceptance as a person and trust than the usual thrusting or usual positions. But much of it is non-genitally oriented and non-intercourse sexuality which few men have experienced but any women find so much more emotionally healing than just sex .

Nurturing positions without sexual contact, to nurture each other by our bodies and spirits communicating acceptance, trust, and harmony between each other.

Exploration and getting to know you techniques very much the same as used by sex surrogates in California (where it is a respected part of professional sex therapy) used to teach being comfortable with our sexuality which does not involve intercourse.

Restoring harmony after a fight or knowing how to reconnect with your partner. Most arguments stem from and escalate out of the fact that one partner is communicating by logic, the other emotionally. This duality is the result of couples speaking two different languages and neither gets what the other is trying to say. The logical partner will remain certain about the rightness of his or her convictions, because they make perfect sense. The emotional partner will continue in his or her position because the truth of feelings cannot be denied. The emotional person doesn’t need to be convinced – in fact, can’t be convinced, because that requires a logical mind and for now the emotional mind is in charge. The emotional partner wants only to be heard, held, and loved: only wants harmony restored. Both partners need to be able to let go, lie down together and practice physical nurturing (not sex), as a means of getting back together and restoring love and harmony even in agreeing to disagree, but trying to understand why each is reacting as they are. Then, no-fault communications needs to be established, both apologize for their part in the disagreement, and affirm their love and their desire to restore harmony by forgiving each other.

Five levels of orgasmic experience for women and how to overcome blocks that get in the way of what God intended to be women s most enjoyable physical experience. The five levels are preorgasmic, sometimes orgasmic, orgasmic, multiple orgasms (the fourth of July fireworks), and extended, or Wave of Bliss level which lasts a long time and can include female ejaculation of nectar of the Goddess (amrita) in Tantra. Sexologists have only recently discovered this, but its been known for centuries in Tantra.

Awakening The Sacred Spot is seldom done by accident but only with a partner, over time, who has been trained to awaken the most powerful possible female sexual organ resulting in whatm many women say is the best of the best orgasm. Again, sexologists are now confirming what has been lost for centuries, but taught as basic ancient Tantra.

These are just some of the many Tantric techniques that should be taught in modern culture. The result would be more love, more emotional and spiritual fulfilment as well as intimacy and positive sexuality that has been falsely repressed far too long.

Brief History of Tantra

Tantra refers to a series of esoteric Hindu books that describe certainsexual rituals and meditations. These ancient Indian books, over two thousand years old, were written in the form of a dialogue between the Hindu god Shiva, who is the penetrating power of focused energy, and his consort, Shakti, who represents the female creative force. The Hindu Tantras enjoyed sexual play and sexual union as an act of joyful celebration, as a demonstration of connectedness, as a symbolic affirmation of the unity inherent in a couple s relationship. The skills are bringing previously unheard of fulfillment to many couples practicing Tantra techniques.

What was amazing to me is that many of the 20th Century sexual discoveries are the same techniques Tantra has taught for 2000 years. For example the G-spot is nothing more than the Sacred Spot of Tantra and the newest CAT (Clitoral Alignment Technique) is also this old. But with our society s sexual repression, it has taken us much longer to learn about our sexuality than in ancient days.

Our Desire For Spiritual Partnership In A Significant Relationship The free love days did not result in lasting fulfilling relationships since it was more me centered rather than you uplifting. The AIDS scare has further made lasting relationships more important. Couples today are looking for a commitment from each other, but a special kind of commitment – one that contains spiritual as well as a physical elements and emotional and psychological aspects as well as material ones.

Lets Help Create A We Generation

In biblical times, marriages were prearranged by fathers based on negotiating a marriage price and cultural factors which had nothing to do with the couple loving each other. In the 1940s war romanticized relationships at the same time it tore them apart. Then came the sexual revolution of the sixties and women claiming their right to their own sexual enjoyment of the seventies. The eighties, the post-sexual-revolution era, brought a time of personal freedom of the me generation. Now, as we approach the turning of another century, men and women want to face life together. This may be the start of the we generation, a generation that desires an end to the battle of the sexes and the beginning of a new form of relationship in which partners work together as a team to satisfy needs, uplift one another, and journey together toward personal growth and sexual and spiritual fulfilment.

We Seek A Passionate Partnership

The sparks of passionate love ignite in a new relationship. Passionate love makes your blood almost pulse inside you, makes you glow and you are drawn to each other like a magnet. This love expresses itself sexually; it is so nourishing you can’t get enough of one another.

Love is not necessarily blind, as Shakespeare claimed, but it is an altered state. Physicians tell us that, biochemically, love has many of the same exhilarating effects that amphetamines produce, but love is a natural high. The immune system can be strengthened by love; white blood cells perform better and we feel terrific!

But as time passes, this passionate love often diminishes because passion is an energy that depends on other energy for its survival. When love begins to stagnate, energy is directed elsewhere, sometimes in negative emotions and thoughts, or in work, sports etc. When couples lessen their lovemaking they begin the process of starving their love. Love is nourished by the sexual energy a couple generates. Tantra teaches how to create the spiritual energy of passion needed to sustain it.

A passionate partnership not only needs the nourishment sexual energy provides, it also needs maintenance as well as communications of what each partner needs in order to feel more loved emotionally, spiritually and sexually. This is the power of Tantra, that powerfully teaches techniques to keep the passionate partnership alive and nourished in all three areas of love. True Intimacy: The Sexual Gap Between Men And Women Many woman use the word intimacy to describe what is most important to them sexually. Sexual intimacy is a special kind of closeness, a communication that is deeper than the couple can achieve physically, a sharing that goes beyond material partnership. This profound connection is described by many women as a spiritual connection, or as the feeling of having found ones soulmate. Women relate it to the heart or the soul more than to the brain or the genitals, although when true sexual intimacy does occur, sexual passion is its by- product. When one becomes intimate one becomes passionate, excited, energized and turned on. A women is aroused, stirred deeply and physically.

But when intimacy is missing, when a women doesn’t make that special connection with her partner, she remains unsatisfied at a primal level because the need for intimacy is so deep. When intimacy is missing its hard for many women to feel passionate or to be satisfied sexually. Tantra teaches couples to relate on the deepest intimacy level and maintain that passion.

For most men intimacy conveys something very different – intercourse. But women know this seldom provides real intimacy, much less maximum sexual pleasure. Tantra teaches men how to enjoy deeper levels of intimacy and how to heal and stimulate a women sexually far more than through just intercourse.

The need for intimacy in sex is so basic to women, yet so foreign to most modern men who have never been trained in true intimacy and sex skills. But by nature and physically, women are sexual introverts; they contain their sexuality. Their sexual organs, their most sensitive places, are internal and protected. Women find it hard to speak out about their deepest sexual feelings.

It s far less difficult for men who are more extroverted. Quite simply, sex turns most men on. Sex makes them passionate. Men love sex. Men like women who like sex. They have never been taught or shown any other way; society teaches men sex, sex, sex thru tease and titillation, and then expects them to not fulfill these desires until marriage! Women want a heartfelt experience in love; most men want a glandular one.

Tantra Teaches Couples Sexual Healing

Tantra was designed centuries ago for couples to learn specifically how these differences between the sexes can be used as a positive force in a passionate partnership built on long lasting love and intimacy, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Tantra teaches that the combination of these differences between the sexes can produce a near-alchemical reaction, an ether in which both flourish, in which the garden of your relationship bursts with color and new life and growth, and you and your beloved thrive.

Tantra also teaches shared intimacy for the moment between couples, not lifelong partners but those who want to experience positive intimacy with different partners. The techniques are powerful as long as the man is open to seeking the most for his partner, not just his physical sexual desires. Once the man has experienced this intimacy, typically his view changes and he also no longer just wants physical sex, but realizes the power in deeper intimate loving relationships. This can be either with a life long partner or even a single encounter with a new loving Tantra-aware spirit which can be a powerful positive experience.

The Yoga of Sex But Much More

Although it has gained a reputation for being the yoga of sex , Tantra s sexual element is only a part of its focus, a part of a means to an end. Tantra s goals are more exalted and broader in scope than just being proficient in physical love. The ultimate goal is unity as a couple and with each other s spirits in a highly developed form of communication between partners. Women s Fire Which For Many Has Grown Cold From Abuse Can Be Wonderfully Rekindled Many women today are for the first time in 2000 years becoming independent and demanding their own business, political as well as sexual fulfilment that has been available mostly just to men in the past. During two thousand years of suppression, many women s fires have grown cold. Now suddenly its the New Age and women are supposed to be more involved in all these things. Not only are women expected to have fabulous orgasms, they are also supposed to experiencing multiple ones. It s enough to make anyone a little nervous, especially women who don’t feel orgasms easily, or have a negative view of sex.

Men have to be taught how to rekindle the woman s often dormant sexual energy. In ancient days, Tantricas were tutored by teachers in the art of love and sex. Today men and women can learn to teach each other and Tantra can help. They might consider Tantra as a kind of extension course – a class in love and relationship. In this continuing education we guide each other and the experience can be extremely powerful and beneficial to both men and women. For when a woman s fire is rekindled after such a long time, and tended, and fed by her most intimate partner, the benefits to both can be many. But for a woman, especially, the rekindling of dormant sexual fires can lead to startling unexpected sensations.

A woman s sexual awakening can propel her spirituality. Men may practice celibacy and achieve spiritual enlightenment, but women s enlightenment is often charged by her orgasmic nature. Through loving sexual sharing a women activates a powerful sexual/spiritual energy which then releases itself into her physical body and into her psyche, creating the atmosphere for her awakening. Tantra recognizes that when a woman increases her sexual power, she adds to the strength of her spiritual aspect as well.

Brief excerpts were taken from an excellent book Tantra The Art Of Conscious Loving by Charles and Caroline Muir

Dave Hutchison, Liberated Christians, Phoenix Az
Promoting Positive, Loving Sexuality / Exposing False Biblical Interpretations

Sex and Magic

By Fra.: Apfelmann | June 16, 2002 | Leave a comment

In this article I would like to address the issue of sex and magic. I am quite aware of the fact that this is a loaded subject. It is one of the oldest disciplines in occultism and virtually every magic tradition applies it somewhere down the road. Yet it has always been regarded as the innermost secret discipline. Witches, Shamans, Runesters, Yogis and Magicians of all varieties work with it in one form or another.

To build up, strengthen, direct and aim this powerful energy is an awesome magical tool, as anyone who has ever worked with it knows. Being limited in time and space, but having such a wonderful and eclectic medium to work with, I want to give you a few unbiased ideas on the subject.

No discipline of magic has attracted as much mumbo jumbo or misinformation as sex magic does. Nothing stirs the mind more than the left and right of the so-called middle path quite as vividly. Nothing is more ancient, powerful and misunderstood as Sex magic. Yes, the market on Tantra is booming, as a visit to any occult book shop will show you. Yet well researched, practical introductions into sex magic are virtually non-existent. Male sexist tunnel vision abounds.

One of the reasons being that the general approach towards sexuality and women is steeped in Judeo-Christian hang ups. The most common approach seems to be: “Just lay down and be the altar dear, you are going to love it.” Even such revolutionaries as Aleister Crowley have done very little to improve this. Louis Culling even dares to state in his contemporary work (1971), that a frigid woman is more conductive to sex magic practice than a sensual or, mind you, sexually aggressive one. For this would surely disturb ones concentration on the Great Work. No wonder that there are few women attracted to these kinds of partners! You will always get what you want in magic and the so-called true will does reveal itself in strange ways. Doing some soul searching and clarifying your motives is quite effective.

Now, regarding literature on this subject there is hope. My German friend Fra.: U.D. has written a comprehensive, pragmatic book on sex magic. It’s title is “Secrets of the German Sex Magicians” (Llewellyn) and he told me last weekend that it is available in the States right now. (I hope he will give me some extracts to post them here) It beats everything that has ever been published on the subject. Get it!

Now let me point out, one more time, that magic is a practical science. Merely reading about it or going to a workshop will not get you anywhere.

The multitude of sexual expressions is just as great and manifold as human behaviour in general. Here, like everywhere in Chaos Magic, it is useful to keep in mind that if it works for you, use it! Remember, the real sex magicians, male and female, have always known that and discarded social conditioning and taboos, right along with the do’s and don’ts of dogma. We do magic to liberate ourselves. So if it is possible for one thing to be sacred we logically conclude that everything else can be sacred too.

Auto-, Hetero- and Homosexual expressions are equally valid in sex magic. It is more about expanding ones horizons that about finding a certain “right” way, partner or ritual to do it. The Chaos Magical paradigm kicks right in: Nothing is True, and Everything is Permitted!

The next issue I want to address is the Auto-erotic practice. So let me state this loud and clear: Without auto erotic practice it is impossible to achieve anything in Sex magic! Auto-eroticism is of central importance because it is the ideal practice and playground. It constitutes a powerful technique in itself, and it makes us independent of partners. Especially in the beginning it is much easier to explore, prolong and amplify orgasmic trance states. For this very same reason it is possible to do effective sex magic with a partner who knows nothing about it but working with a partner who is equally trained in this art is ever so much more effective. Most amateurs believe that sexual magic is something that solely happens between partners in a ritual, but in reality the vast majority of sex magical arts are performed auto-erotically.

Regarding the physical aspects of the sexual magical training first thing to consider is that your body is really your temple. And for it to be your ultimate tool and asset it has to be in peak condition. Physical and mental dependencies, be it alcohol, stimulants or even tobacco, will interfere with your ability to develop and direct this tool. I do not want to project a moral attitude on this, or any other subject, but mind, spirit and body are deeply intertwined. And the more you alter your mind from the outside by using drugs of any sort, the harder it gets to focus your will and physical reaction. If you are in a frizzy condition, you will get frizzy results! Here, as in all magic, the borders are fluid. A good training in practical magic will greatly enhance your sexual magic and vice versa.

A lot of physical exercises in sex magic derive from Tantra Yoga. The only point of disagreement appears to be the way of using the orgasm. In particular, the “traditional” Tantra authors seem to cling to the idea that there is only a limited amount of sperm available to men. Therefore this precious substance is carefully guarded, held back and re-assimilated when spent. Western magic does not agree with this belief. Its approach is rather like: the more you spend – the more you get! This applies to male magicians, women have always been pretty much inexhaustible in their orgasmic capacity. What joins both is that the intent in Sex magic is much more result oriented and concrete than in Tantra, where it is mainly transcendental.

The longing for transcendence seems to be inherently natural in human behaviour. Yet being western magicians living in the nineties we know that we have to handle the “real world”, our physical reality first, and then we can move on to the loftier goals.

A good manual for your physical preparation and training is “Stalking the Wild Orgasm” by Christopher Scott Kilham. His work not only includes some excellent yoga exercises, but also gives you some great clues regarding nutrition and aphrodisiacs. When you get going in this direction you will find that it soon penetrates into many other areas of your magical work. You will be in better physical shape, more relaxed, focused and grounded. Magic is a gut level art. We have to remove it from the intellectual stuff. Trust your own experiences. Strive to conduct your magic work from this part of your body where all magic originates – your loins. Have fun!

With fractalic greetings and laughter *Fra.: Apfelmann*